MY BOGGY BLOG: find your way through the murk
Notes from the Homefront -- Theresa Jarosz Alberti, writer and mother... http://sapphire.albatross.org
It's funny how Christmas vacation changes from when you're a kid to when you're an adult. Now I do have the luxury of being a stay-at-home mom, so we really all do get a vacation. And for the kids (the same as when I was a kid), the vacation is all about Not Having to Go to School, combined with New Toys. Really, it is a kid's paradise, those two combined.
For adults, it's all about Sleep! I can stay up late, watching movies and reading books, then not pay the penalties in the morning because I can sleep in until 10 am! I'm not having to get up and do the school morning routine, which involves dragging myself out of bed, showering, trying to get my groggy, unwilling children out of bed, yelling at them to get dressed, trying to throw together a breakfast and lunches, more yelling to keep eating and quit goofing, trying to get them to find all their school stuff, sign last-minute field trip forms, look for missing mittens, until we all pile in the van and drive them to school. It is not one of the high points of my day. And so, my Christmas vacation is a vacation from all of that... and getting to sleep!
Last night four of us played a new game, Apples to Apples. I highly recommend it-- it says it's for kids 12 and up, but our younger DS was playing it when he was 8. I love playing games like this that get us laughing so hard that someone almosts pees their pants! We don't do family game night nearly enough...
Welcome to my new blog. DH is setting me up with this fancy new system, so I feel like I've gone from writing on a cave wall to at the very least scribbling with a fancy fountain pen. Please bear with me while I get all this figured out!
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all! All the presents have been
opened, all the wrapping paper torn and scattered about, the Christmas
breakfast of caramel buns and Polish sausage (from Kramarczuk's, yum!)
eaten, and now is the time for relaxing and kids playing happily,
until we head to MIL's for Christmas dinner (and more presents). There
we will bring along the Polish Christmas traditions of throwing
peanuts-in-the-shell at relatives as we walk in the door, shouting
Polish greetings, just as my own Grandma and Grandpa Jarosz always did
every Christmas Day. The kids are looking forward to that! We will
also bring along the Christmas wafer, Oplatki, to share. Everyone
takes a piece of this thin, communion-wafer type bread and then you go
around the room, saying Peace or Merry Christmas to each person as you
offer your wafer for them to take a small piece and you take and eat a
small piece of theirs. I love these old Polish customs, and can feel
the spirits of my Grandma and Grandpa and others long gone looking
down and smiling at the memories and rituals they helped make.
It was so very nice to see some of my ideas about having a simpler
Christmas come to pass. There was still excess, but one idea was that
we in the family should make gifts for each other, instead of DH and I
taking the kids out shopping for them to buy some cheapo junk to give
each other. At first they were dubious, like it wasn't fair, and
*they* couldn't really make anything, but after little speeches from
me about gifts from the heart and thinking of the other person and
thinking "outside the box" (or as younger DS likes to say, "outside
the bun" thanks to commercials!)-- well, after all that, their little
creative minds took hold, and they all got into it. Coupons were the
popular gift, like DD's coupon to her little brother for one night to
come into her bed to read stories and play stufed animals and such, or
older DS's gift to his sister of playing a game with her without
"being evil" (he adores being evil during board games!). DD and DS
also each made a costume for their little brother's fave stuffed
animal, sewing in a locked room with hushed voices. Ah yes, this is
what I wanted! The secret gifts and delighted whispers of "this is
what I'm making for ___". It was all very rich and rewarding, the
power and joy of knowing you can make someone else happy with just a
little effort and thought and your creativity!
I was totally exhausted last night, worn out from a day of cooking and
weeks of preparations. But now I can just relax, watch a Christmas
movie or read a new book, go over to MIL's later where she always
spoils us rotten. We'll see how that goes... tomorrow is the 1st
anniversary of FIL's death, so that will be hard.
Here's to a beautiful holiday to all, peace for the world, healing for
those who hurt or mourn, and the spaciousness of heart for all of us
to cherish life and those we love.
December has not been particularly bloggy for me...
too much holiday oriented busy-ness, too many dips into The Funk.
Depression just doesn't inspire me to write. Oh, it hasn't been really
deep depression, just an undercurrent as I look at the upcoming
holidays and what I want them to be, and the mile-long to-do list I've
ended up with despite my attempts to simplify this year.
But I'm feeling better now, maybe because I'm all done shopping and do
not need to lurch my way through retail crowd. My DH admitted on his
blog that he actually enjoys Christmas shopping, so I'm letting him
finish. He was trying to grumble at me about giving him a to-do list
for the next few days and taking away his spontenaity, but I growled
at him, "Have you ever noticed the division of labor in putting
Christmas together?" Okay, okay, he had to admit it. I reminded him he
wasn't a bachelor and couldn't shop like one anymore.
Last night was the Winter Solstice Service at our church, First
Universalist. The Solstice service and the Christmas Pageant (which
was Sunday) are the two big holiday services, full of tradition and
wowness. Our pageant in very funky, with kids signing up to be an
animal (any animal they want, we've even had skunks and bats), wise
person, an angel, drummer, shepherd, etc. My younger DS was part of a
squad of Angels on Wheels, kids dressed all in black with helmets, on
scooters or roller blades, as a part of the Angel Parcel Service who
"delivers" baby Jesus to Mary and Joseph. Very fun. The Solstice
Service is more earth-based spirituality, calling the four directions,
a story of light in the darkness, chanting and 12 minutes of sitting
silently in the dark while a drum beats like a heartbeat. Afterwards,
candles light the whole church, and there is tribal drumming and
spiral dancing in the social hall. A great way to celebrate the
longest night of the year.
Now a very messy kitchen awaits my magic touch. The kids are antsy, we
need to do a bit more baking and not a present has been wrapped yet.
Oddly enough, this is not depressing me today. The little kid in me is
excited about Christmas-- perhaps I'll use her and my own kids' excess
excitement to get some cleaning done!
Nobody ever told me about the joy of hearing your child perform in a
concert. The pride that wells up, even if they make mistakes, because
you've heard all the work that has gone into that moment, and the
courage it takes to perform in front of even a small group. Such was
today's piano recital, where each of my three darlings played their
pieces, not perfectly but with great spunk. About a dozen kids
performed, all at various levels of ability, with an audience of 20
some friends and relatives. Our teacher C. has wonderful recitals
which are casual and yet taken seriously, too. Some kids dress up and
some do not. C. also performs, which I think is a good thing for the
kids to see. And then there is the nicel ritual of everyone bringing
treats to share afterward, and time just hanging out together. The
whole thing just makes me feel good.
Tonight we are awaiting the finale of Survivor, the one show our
family watches together. It has become quite a fun ritual for us, with
lots of speculation about who will win or what strategies will be
developed, badmouthing the jerks, cheering and groaning throughout
watching the show. It's our one dive into reality TV, and we've been
watching since the first season. I know, I know, our poor warped
children... but everyone's gotta warp their kids somehow, right?
We're not being warped, and it's surprising that that show seems to
hire the perfect amounts of idiots, with only a few (0-3) smart
people.There was this one strong guy who was as dumb and weak-of-mind
as a fencepost. We cheered when they finally kicked him out, the
weenie!
I'm having one of those "I am woman, hear me roar" moments this
morning because I actually managed to remove a broken zipper from my
youngest DS's winter coat, and sewed in a new one! I'm not much of a
sew-er (sewer looks funny!), though I do own a cheap sewing machine
and I did go through sewing class in junior high... made some awful
skirts and a pair of denim overalls. So when DS came home with a
broken zipper yesterday on the coat I bought brand new for him last
year, I just cringed. We've had broken zippers on coats before, but
usually they've been thrift store coats that I just throw away. But
this coat is still good, and I just can't see getting rid of it when
everything is great about it except the zipper. Tailors charge a lot
to replace a zipper, so I knew I had to at least give it a try on my
own. I bought a $3 zipper, and during writing group last night, me and
sainted M. in our group sat and ripped out the old zipper. This
morning I sewed the new one in, and it actually works! Could you hear
the "Hallelujah Chorus" from where you were?
I could certainly use a Empowering Roar this morning... the funk just
keeps following me around lately, like a pathetic, drippy-eyed mutt. I
did my Nano and felt great about that, but I've just not been keeping
up with stuff around the house much at all-- laundry is embarrassingly
backed up to like a dozen loads needing to be done at least, I've been
piling mountains of papers and just not dealing with them, you get the
picture. When it gets this bad, it is hard to even know where to
start, or to crawl up out of the hole of bleakness to make some stabs
of effort. It doesn't help that Christmas comes along and begs for
more tasks, more effort, more time.
We had a big snowfall yesterday, so everything looks sufficiently
white and wintry here. How many inches... at least 6, I haven't heard
the reports yet. DH is out shoveling as I type, and now the kids will
get to have fun sledding. It never really snowed like this last year,
with our strange winter. I do like the snow... at least in December,
when it's still new and fun. It's the February and March snow that I
get so tired of!
The last week of November ended in a blur. Younger DS 9th birthday on
the 21st, Thanksgiving, Nanowrimo (I finished! See my [1]Nano Blog),
kids' big homework project, and the ritual trip downtown with Grandma
A. and cousins to what we used to call Dayton's Christmas display.
November is done; onward to December!
My goal this December is not to go beserk on Christmas this year. Most
every year I make lists and feel stressed and inadequate with way too
much to do and not enough time, energy or money to make it happen.
This year, I'm going to question everything, only do what I or others
in my family really love, and lower my expectations. I'll buy presents
for kids, and I do like to bake and make things so I'll make goodie
bags or something for others. I'd like to concentrate on spending time
with my family, with the joys of the season, not the commercialism.
For now I will go and relax with my cup of coffee, a book and a
blanket on our easy chair, with my foot up on the ottoman. This
morning I had my second partial toenail removal on the same big toe in
6 weeks. It's really not as a bad of a procedure as it sounds, but
it's a good excuse to sit on my butt!
References
1. file://localhost/home/httpd/albatross/MT/import/nanowrimo.html