MY BOGGY BLOG: find your way through the murk

Wah!

I'm sad... my 13 year old daughter has just gone off with her friend's family for 6 days at their cabin up north. DD has been terribly excited to go-- her friend is an only child and the parents are great to both girls, and I know she is going to have a wonderful time. But DD has only ever been away for 2 nights before, so I know I'm going to feel a terrible hole with her gone.

As a mom, I also worry, and I know that is natural. She'll be swimming in lakes without my eagle eye checking on her every few minutes. I know she's a good swimmer after all those years of swimming lessons and she is a pretty safe kid, but still. I'm not in control! And with her away, I can't even pretend to be.

It just feels like the first step in her growing up and me letting go. Of course I don't want to stop her from having great experiences in life, and this will be happening a lot more as we really get into the teen years, with the twins turning 14 in a month or so. It is what parents and children have done for eons, and it will be our turn too, to let go and let them out into the world. It's our job. But inwardly, I think it sucks!

So now I get to be the only female in the household, and find boy-friendly things to do with them. But for now I just feel sad... I think it's some kind of existensial crisis, the mom watching her chicks go off and now what does she do? This has been her identity and filled her days for so long. I have some more thinking and feeling to do about this.