MY BOGGY BLOG: find your way through the murk

How to Get a Free Xmas Tree*

1. Wait until the last possible moment to go out and try to buy a live tree, let's say, oh, the 23rd of December. Spend a good week in advance saying "we should go get a tree" ever few days.

2. Pile the kids in the car on one of the coldest days of December, temps below zero. Have visions of being one of those old-time families you read about in books who get their trees on Xmas Eve and decorate it that night. You know, with candles because electricity hadn't been invented yet.

3. Drive across town to your favorite Xmas tree lot. Let eyes get wide as you drive by the spot where it was a few days ago to see a totally empty lot.

4. Shrug shoulders then head back to your own neighborhood, where there are a few nurseries that sell Xmas trees.

5. Go to the first nursery and find two 18-inch live "trees" left, one of which a woman who lives in an apartment is buying, saying its perfect for her table top. Unfortunately, its not anywhere near perfect for your living room.

6. Drive to two more nurseries, both of which look as picked clean as the Cratchit's Christmas goose. Start to panic at the idea that there are no more trees left anywhere.

7. Have husband call the big Bachman's on Lyndale Avenue to see if they, huge as they are, have any trees. They do not.

8. In desperation, follow husband's suggestion to drive by the Salvation Army on Lake Street where your kids had a piano recital last Saturday. He had seen some bundled Xmas trees just lying in the parking lot by their door. Maybe one would still be there.

9. Amazingly enough, four trees all trussed up with netting are still lying in the lot. Husband gets out of the car to see if we can pay them money for one.

10. The building is all locked, but a man who seems to be with the Salvation Army says the trees are free and we can have one. Hallelujah!

11. Back at home, we untruss the tree, and it is a perfectly lovely tree. We pledge to make a donation to the Salvation Army and feel grateful for our gift of a tree.

*Directions not guaranteed.

Posted by sapphire at December 23, 2004 11:57 PM