MY BOGGY BLOG: find your way through the murk

Poor DH

Not a good week for DH. He was already in a funk with his 42nd birthday approaching. He's in some mid-life crisis (again), not liking where he's working, not sure if he wants to keep going with his business and if not, then what does he want to do? And he gets depressed at the idea of getting older. And then, on DH's birthday this week, his birthfather died.

We'd found out about three weeks ago that R. had pancreatic cancer and that he was given 3-6 months to live. He was only 65, and DH did want to try and go out and see him, but we thought we had more time than this. R. unfortunately had some bad complications and pain and couldn't eat... I think that is what hastened everything.

DH had found both his birthparents 11 years ago. Birthmom K. is someone who we've all grown pretty close to-- she's definitely another grandma to the kids and we keep in regular contact. But DH has had a more distant relationship to R. They've met, talked on the phone a few times, sent a few cards, but really hadn't had much contact since we last saw him on our trip out to the East Coast 4 years ago. It doesn't seem like there was anything more to it all than everyone is busy and we have our lives and he had his. I'm sure DH feels pretty bad about that now, too.

So, right now DH is flying out to Boston, then driving out to Cape Cod, to attend the funeral. He'll be staying with R.'s other son, who has been his contact through these last few weeks. I hope that it is all in all a good experience for him, even though there'll be grief and sadness. Maybe he can make new connections with other relatives. Maybe something good can come of this year's sad birthday.

On another note, it's been in the 50's this week for temps! Usually we are more apt to get 100 degrees heatwaves in August, but this year has certainly been odd. I've heard we may get back to 80 by Sunday. Very strange.

Posted by sapphire at August 13, 2004 07:24 AM